1. Read things that don’t matter, then write papers saying they do matter, for points that don’t matter, in order to get a job doing something totally unrelated: Student
2. Take numbers on pieces of paper, rearrange them and put them on different pieces of paper: Tax Accountant
3. Explain big words to sales people and then cower before customers while trying to convince them that the sales people really didn’t say what the customers understood: Customer Solutions Engineer
4. Help people lie consistently to their bosses: Business Intelligence Consultant
5. Make people who are already filthy rich somewhat richer by duping poor people into buying stuff they don’t need: Corporate Software Engineer
6. Find as many synonyms for “explosion” as possible: Novelist for Teenage Boys
7. Supervise the guys and gals who try to protect the good people from the bad, only to be hated by the good people AND the bad: Police Sergeant
8. Manage waste recycling, promotion & sales: Antiques Dealer
9. Arrive after the battle and bayonet all the wounded: Auditor
10. Persuade kids that it’s really fun being wet, cold and scared out of their minds: Sailing Instructor
11. Draw up plans for something that will not be built according to those plans: Civil Engineer, Transportation Design
12. Spend most of the day looking out the window: Pilot
13. Go to strange people’s houses and take their money: Pizza Delivery Boy
14. Tell people that they can’t spend money they thought they had: Government Analyst
15. Move things from one tube to another: Microbiologist
16. Run away and call the police: Security Guard
17. Help people hate each other: Divorce Lawyer
18. Talk in other people’s sleep: College Professor
19. Make people feel bad about their work: Quality Assurance Tester
20. Clean up an animal that makes more money than me in a year: Assistant Horse Trainer
And this one's my favorite...
21. Make food that is as healthy before it goes in your body as when it comes back out: Fast Food Employee
2. Take numbers on pieces of paper, rearrange them and put them on different pieces of paper: Tax Accountant
3. Explain big words to sales people and then cower before customers while trying to convince them that the sales people really didn’t say what the customers understood: Customer Solutions Engineer
4. Help people lie consistently to their bosses: Business Intelligence Consultant
5. Make people who are already filthy rich somewhat richer by duping poor people into buying stuff they don’t need: Corporate Software Engineer
6. Find as many synonyms for “explosion” as possible: Novelist for Teenage Boys
7. Supervise the guys and gals who try to protect the good people from the bad, only to be hated by the good people AND the bad: Police Sergeant
8. Manage waste recycling, promotion & sales: Antiques Dealer
9. Arrive after the battle and bayonet all the wounded: Auditor
10. Persuade kids that it’s really fun being wet, cold and scared out of their minds: Sailing Instructor
11. Draw up plans for something that will not be built according to those plans: Civil Engineer, Transportation Design
12. Spend most of the day looking out the window: Pilot
13. Go to strange people’s houses and take their money: Pizza Delivery Boy
14. Tell people that they can’t spend money they thought they had: Government Analyst
15. Move things from one tube to another: Microbiologist
16. Run away and call the police: Security Guard
17. Help people hate each other: Divorce Lawyer
18. Talk in other people’s sleep: College Professor
19. Make people feel bad about their work: Quality Assurance Tester
20. Clean up an animal that makes more money than me in a year: Assistant Horse Trainer
And this one's my favorite...
21. Make food that is as healthy before it goes in your body as when it comes back out: Fast Food Employee
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